From about 2013 through 2017, I felt like I was living my life to the fullest. I wasn’t convicted by much of anything, and although I had less than I ever had, I didn’t notice. I thought I was living well making $11 an hr., at a temporary job, getting paid once a week. Life was good! I Often make the statement that if I would have known that life would be this boring now, I would have wild’d out a little more in my younger days. I was busy trying to be a modern-day Clair Huxtable to keep up with one man, when I should have been a Lorie Harvey. Truth be told, I may have been a little bit of both, but that’s a story for another day. Now I know this is not the correct way of thinking, (my mother is going to be so disappointed lol) but what I’m realizing is that…

Growing is uncomfortable.

Eventually God convicted me of the things that I knew were wrong all along. I used to find ways to justify my wrongdoings and felt comfortably fine doing them, but it was those things that drove me to the end of my rope, that I would eventually hang myself with, figuratively speaking. As I grew, the things I used to could do, I couldn’t allow myself to do anymore. The things I used to be comfortable accepting and settling for; I couldn’t accept anymore. The guilt would weigh heavy on me if I were to be who I used to be, I knew I was made for more. This included that old faithful appointment I had on speed dial, IYKYK. It didn’t matter who talked to me until they were blue in the face telling me I was wrong, it was God that had to work on me, and my conscience all in his perfect timing.

• People will try to rush this growing process for you, sometimes out of genuine love for you, and that’s okay. Just don’t beat yourself up about it, God will grow you in his love, grace, and perfect timing. In this same aspect, we must not rush the process for others. Give space, grace and run your own race!

If Only I knew back then that so much more was in store for me than what I fought to hold on to. I don’t regret anything that I experienced, in fact, I often say, “if I aint done nothing else, baby I have lived”. I take pride in that. I have had friends come to me in confidence knowing that in many situations I have made both the right and wrong decisions and can tell them what the outcomes of each could possibly be. It’s helping others that makes all of my experiences worth it.

PAUSE & REFLECT

In what ways can you see God’s Grace & Growth in your process?